they go on and on about how i have my "own thing going on" and about how "ambitious and dedicated i am to my goals" and how "strong and independent" i am. some of them judge me by how they perceive me in situations (e.g. i'm talkative and friendly in the office and they expect me to be just that even when i'm off duty).
and you know what's the funny part?
the very same traits that they like about me are also the traits that they dislike the most. they say things like "why can't you spend sunday night with me? your goals can wait" or things like "you need to slow down and make time for me" or "you're not that busy, you're just making excuses".
and the worse part?
that one line that makes me roll my eyes till i can see my brain:
"you're such a great catch".
PLS LAH. bullshit.
and that's exactly how they see me. just another ikan bawal in the sea. another ikan to parade to their friends. another ikan to use as a trophy. another ikan to boost their ego.
the worse part is when they've had experience with crazy ex-girlfriends and they judge me to be the same because "all girls are crazy." amirite, @TheMeninist? yes, i agree that girls are crazy. when i hear my friends go through relationship drama and notice that a lot of times, it's the girl who acts all crazy and in my head, i feel sorry sometimes that girls can be oversensitive, demanding and emotional.
am i saying that i don't possess those above mentioned traits? i do. i just know how to manage my emotions, which is something i have learned as a result of being in account management and being a single woman who has to constantly face her feelings every single day because there's no one listening. but why is it that when i'm dating someone, they assume the worst about me just because they've had bad experiences?
this is exactly why i'd rather be alone. as i grow older, i find myself protecting my energy and time. i have no time to waste on people who choose to see me as an idea of what they like instead of seeing me as me. it is so fucking rare to find someone who sees me for me.
in fact, i can only count of one hand the amount of people who truly take the time to get to know me and have remained open minded of how they perceive me and these people (you know who you are) are such gems in my life who remind me that i dont need a multitude of people to feel whole.
it's so rare to find someone who loves the outgoing and friendly side of me and who enjoys the times when i'm silent and contemplative. it's so rare to find someone who truly goes the extra mile to seek to understand my perspective and how i feel before they can throw their assumptions on me. it's so rare to find people who truly communicate with me and to these very, very rare souls, i am so thankful for your presence in my life. it's even rare to find someone who shares the same guilty pleasures as me and does not judge me for my taste just as how i remain non-judgmental to people's preferences.
ok lah i didn't expect this post to be all emo but i had to say what i had to say.
and i feel relieved.
girls, don't fall for pickup lines like "you're different" or "you're such a great catch". if you were a really great catch, then they would let their actions speak for themselves. they would listen to you, seek to understand you and treat you with respect. expect nothing less than respect. you deserve someone who would take the time to get to know you as a whole person and who won't judge you based on how you are in certain situations. at the same time, treat guys with respect. don't do that cold shoulder thing because it just belittles you as a human being. if you're upset, communicate. if you're lost, communicate. don't expect a guy to read your mind. he is not your punching bag just as how you aren't. have some self-respect.
you can do better. you are better than this.
if he only likes the idea of you and does not take time to know you, leave.
No comments:
Post a Comment