the great outdoors

the last three weekends have been filled with outdoorsy adventures. The morning sun, the cool breeze, the immense sweating and the endorphin rush. I never really had weekends where I could enjoy the outdoors because I was always stuck in church for the last 21 years of my life. Glad that I can finally be out to enjoy creation instead of just talking about it.

two saturdays ago, I was out with my colleagues at Tadom Hill where we got our beast mode on and battled the obstacle course and rock climbing before jumping into this lake. As I swam in a pool of blue, I just enjoyed the feel of being in the water. I've always been a water baby, having pestered my mom to always take me swimming. i don't mean to sound so cliche but there's just something about being in the water that makes me feel serene and grounded.

then,
there was my birthday weekend. I insisted on not celebrating my birthday but trust my boyfriend to plan a surprise picnic where he made mac 'n cheese, brought watermelon cubes and a bottle of pear cider for me. everything was packed neatly in the brown picnic basket (just the way i like it) and brought to me right after I completed a round of cycling along the metropolitan park trail. i was so disappointed that i didn't get to cycle in the morning because it had rained but he 'suggested' that i cycle in the evening while he jogged (which was obviously a ploy for the picnic).

and of course, the icing on the cake 

I MET CASSEY HO OF BLOGILATES LIKE WHAT EVEN.
today, I pushed myself out of bed at 7.30am and made my way to Desa Park City where I took a live POP Pilates class with Cassey. I've been following her workout videos religiously since 2012 and to finally see her in real life was just...what. is. my. life.
When I finally hugged her, I almost cried. I couldn't believe that I was seeing her in the flesh. This was truly a bucket list item that I never ever thought I would tick. And I achieved all this with my best friend, the ever-amazing Ju Yi who totally cheered me on while I was dying in sweat throughout the workout.

can you believe that i did forty-five minutes of yoga with Jojo Struys and forty-five minutes of pilates with Cassey - all without breakfast!
I made it out alive and I'm ecstatic to end my birthday month on such a high note.
It's been a simple month of quiet celebration, a month of new adventures and a month of enjoying the last 30 days of being twenty-three, a very defining year of my life.

and now, to embrace the soreness 

that which will commence tomorrow. 

at least it's the good kind of pain.

happy 24th

today is the last day of my 23rd year.

in retrospect, I'm thankful for the biggest and smallest moments that made up the year.
i used to blog on a completely different (and anonymous) space before I finally decided to start afresh.

what better way to start afresh on my 24th year.
and what an even better way to start this online space by being grateful:


i. the firsts
i had a lot of my conventional firsts in this year - firsts that i didn't imagine i would have because of my past patterns of thought. i had my first overseas trip, first job, first battle with cigarette addiction, first wild party, first body painting modeling stint, etc. bottom line: a year of popping cherries (yes, this includes the real fruit).

ii. wanderlust
this is something that i'm shamelessly proud of because i self-funded my trips to Taiwan and Australia. to be honest, i didn't even think that i would set foot in Australia because it was suuuch a last minute trip but since i had the money, i just took the leap and did it. it brought a sense of accomplishment to me to know that i paid for memorable experiences through my own hard work. i've never traveled overseas before (Singapore doesn't count) because of the lack of finances but to be able to travel is just the best feeling in the world.

iii. i became a writer!
i've always wanted to write for magazines and to have worked in a publishing house for a brief stint was a big blessing. i remembered how i panicked because i had a psychology degree and no background in journalism except for a few published articles here and there. the highlight: writing for Esquire Malaysia (!!!)

iv. love 
i've been a relationship for a long time - to be able to finally have our families meet over dinner was indescribable. i say indescribable because our relationship suffered emotional hell for a good amount of years. i never thought that i would ever be in a (forbidden) relationship, let alone be in such a sticky situation. this is a huge deal for me and something i'm super thankful for. all those years of tears were worth it. "for you, a thousand times over."

v. scented candles
i totally underestimated the power of a really good scent. in the wake of my clean bedroom, i decided to introduce a set of vanilla tea lights and i went crazy when Yankee Candle had their annual sale. i know this is not for some people but just a simple act of lighting up a scented candle and breathing a different kind of air is just something i'm thankful for.

vi. friendships
i'm thankful for the friendships that i have and the friendships that i have discarded. it took great courage to remove the people who were bringing me down, people who didn't care about me as much as i cared about them and people who were just plain nasty. as someone who is recharged by company, i find that i am no longer interested in people who are purely interested in themselves.

vii. family
it just dawned upon me that Australia was our first family overseas trip. i'm thankful that i have a good relationship with my parents. i'm thankful that the turbulent years have passed and that the four of us acknowledge and respect each other as adults. i'm thankful that my sister has gone off for her own adventures and that she took the bold step to make her musical dreams come true.

viii. self-growth
i'm thankful that i have matured and slowed down (emotionally). i'm thankful that i'm more confident, a tad bit more extroverted and more assertive. i'm thankful that i pushed myself out of my comfort zone, met new people, embarked on difficult journeys and came out alive. my resolution for my 24th year is not to be so hard on myself and to celebrate my accomplishments. i learned that the grass is never greener on the other side.

ix. a work #squad
i'm thankful to work with people of diverse cultures (Syria, Uganda, Maldives, Indonesia, Pakistan and yes, Malaysia), people who care about each other and people who are extremely talented self-learners. I didn't think that I would blend so well in this new agency but I did. I could never ask for better colleagues, or in this case, a better work family.

and lastly,

x. to live till the ripe age of 24
the call of death is uncertain. our time on this earth is not determined by us. simply put, i'm thankful to live for another year. my hope for this year is that i will live circumspectly and wholeheartedly, living not just for myself but for a greater purpose.