until that scene when Jane was bored on the dance floor (pardon my modern description despite this very old, Austenian nature of the setting) only to be surprised when Tom showed up. *cue all my feels and some tears*
it's been three months and i'm slowly dealing with the fact that 1) i'm gonna be falling asleep without a good night text - which is fine because i was starting to get bored of that and 2) i'm really alone.
like, wow.
i'm actually a single girl in Kuala Lumpur with this crazy job and a crazy study schedule while making time for family + after-work drinks + friendships and my receding social media presence. i honestly never saw this coming. i thought that i'd have a ring on my finger and be running around with wedding plans before tying the knot next year.
but no, in reality, i'm rolling my eyes at silly "client" requests and trying to understand the gist of Modernist Literature while desperately failing to do so. oh well, life doesn't always turn out the way we want it to, right?
i was scrolling through this blog and came across a line where i wrote that i'd "rather eat glass than go back to advertising" but...guess what i am doing now? LMAO. and then another line when i acknowledged (during a matcha latte conversation with my best friend) that i was ready to spend my whole, unadulterated life with him. DOUBLE LMAO (if that's such a thing).
ah, the sheer insanity that life bestows to youth who lack wisdom but possess the understanding of a mule!
it's tricky to readjust to a life that i once lived: where everything was just about friends, personal goals and moments of solitary solace (oohh...alliteration!). i had so much of an "us" mindset over the last few years that i forgot about what i really wanted. i sometimes struggle to know what i want but as of now, i'd like to be more independent that i already am and learn to let life take its course.
i'm tired of wanting everything to be perfect.
sure, i didn't make it into the women's lifestyle magazine industry and that's fine.
i didn't make it to walking down the aisle in my eggshell-nude vintage lace wedding dress ( i wasn't one of those who believed in a white dress, anyway) and that's fine.
so my next plan of action? trust the process and let go.
