happy 24th

today is the last day of my 23rd year.

in retrospect, I'm thankful for the biggest and smallest moments that made up the year.
i used to blog on a completely different (and anonymous) space before I finally decided to start afresh.

what better way to start afresh on my 24th year.
and what an even better way to start this online space by being grateful:


i. the firsts
i had a lot of my conventional firsts in this year - firsts that i didn't imagine i would have because of my past patterns of thought. i had my first overseas trip, first job, first battle with cigarette addiction, first wild party, first body painting modeling stint, etc. bottom line: a year of popping cherries (yes, this includes the real fruit).

ii. wanderlust
this is something that i'm shamelessly proud of because i self-funded my trips to Taiwan and Australia. to be honest, i didn't even think that i would set foot in Australia because it was suuuch a last minute trip but since i had the money, i just took the leap and did it. it brought a sense of accomplishment to me to know that i paid for memorable experiences through my own hard work. i've never traveled overseas before (Singapore doesn't count) because of the lack of finances but to be able to travel is just the best feeling in the world.

iii. i became a writer!
i've always wanted to write for magazines and to have worked in a publishing house for a brief stint was a big blessing. i remembered how i panicked because i had a psychology degree and no background in journalism except for a few published articles here and there. the highlight: writing for Esquire Malaysia (!!!)

iv. love 
i've been a relationship for a long time - to be able to finally have our families meet over dinner was indescribable. i say indescribable because our relationship suffered emotional hell for a good amount of years. i never thought that i would ever be in a (forbidden) relationship, let alone be in such a sticky situation. this is a huge deal for me and something i'm super thankful for. all those years of tears were worth it. "for you, a thousand times over."

v. scented candles
i totally underestimated the power of a really good scent. in the wake of my clean bedroom, i decided to introduce a set of vanilla tea lights and i went crazy when Yankee Candle had their annual sale. i know this is not for some people but just a simple act of lighting up a scented candle and breathing a different kind of air is just something i'm thankful for.

vi. friendships
i'm thankful for the friendships that i have and the friendships that i have discarded. it took great courage to remove the people who were bringing me down, people who didn't care about me as much as i cared about them and people who were just plain nasty. as someone who is recharged by company, i find that i am no longer interested in people who are purely interested in themselves.

vii. family
it just dawned upon me that Australia was our first family overseas trip. i'm thankful that i have a good relationship with my parents. i'm thankful that the turbulent years have passed and that the four of us acknowledge and respect each other as adults. i'm thankful that my sister has gone off for her own adventures and that she took the bold step to make her musical dreams come true.

viii. self-growth
i'm thankful that i have matured and slowed down (emotionally). i'm thankful that i'm more confident, a tad bit more extroverted and more assertive. i'm thankful that i pushed myself out of my comfort zone, met new people, embarked on difficult journeys and came out alive. my resolution for my 24th year is not to be so hard on myself and to celebrate my accomplishments. i learned that the grass is never greener on the other side.

ix. a work #squad
i'm thankful to work with people of diverse cultures (Syria, Uganda, Maldives, Indonesia, Pakistan and yes, Malaysia), people who care about each other and people who are extremely talented self-learners. I didn't think that I would blend so well in this new agency but I did. I could never ask for better colleagues, or in this case, a better work family.

and lastly,

x. to live till the ripe age of 24
the call of death is uncertain. our time on this earth is not determined by us. simply put, i'm thankful to live for another year. my hope for this year is that i will live circumspectly and wholeheartedly, living not just for myself but for a greater purpose.