maybe the detour is a spark

truth to be told, i'm exhausted. 

i get up and ask myself, 'what exactly am i doing?'

i never imagined myself to be doing something other than my 'dream job'. for the longest time, i've always wanted to be in magazines. not just any kind of magazines, but magazines like Porter, Esquire or Vanity Fair. I would imagine myself as a features writer, profiling notable individuals, writing about culture, art, beauty, style, etc. 

i never thought that i would end up in social media, a job that never existed when i was 14 and excitedly flipping through magazines, dreaming that i would work for one in the future. 

i did, actually. 

i had applied to two magazines, one that was the dream magazine and the other was a backup, in case i didn't get the one i wanted. just as how i predicted, i got the backup and i accepted the offer (thinking that i need to start somewhere eventually), worked at it and realized how powerless i felt writing for a magazine that i didn't care about. 

i had applied to a few more magazines but nothing was working out. eventually, i had to come up with a plan B and that's how I ended up in social media and digital copywriting. i love the job, i even wrote an entire blog post about what i do, but there's that gnawing feeling of not achieving my old dream, a dream that i once held so deeply, a dream that i worked so hard for only to never see it come to pass and to eventually give up. 

so, here's the part of my life that i call a detour. 

i'm writing this to encourage those out there who are the dreamers, specifically the dreamers who did not achieve their dream because of unexpected circumstances. 

perhaps we can see the detour as a means of self-growth. 

perhaps the skills that we're gaining through the 'detour' phase will push us out of our comfort zones and spark a new dream. 

perhaps the detour is a way to bring us back to our old dream, this time with new skills, new perspectives and fresh inspiration. 

i hope you will be able to rekindle that flame that once sparked the birth of your dream. 

i hope i will do the same too.